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Tuesday, November 10, 2009 @ 3:20 PM
Let's Play Pretend

I was introduced to an artist who, in turn, led me to find another. Her name is Lights. I've been listening to her album "The Listening" and a few songs popped out at me, but this one in particular makes me feel all nostalgic. It's called Pretend. All of the stanzas, really, seem so real to me.

Once in a while I act like a child, to feel like a kid again
It gets like a prison in the body I'm living in

I guess this, being the first part of the song, really caught my attention, because I really don't want to grow up. I can see how it opens up more freedoms but it also limits you. The "weight of the world" forces you to grow up, to abandon your childish dreams, to think logically, and there are consequences. It's selfish and immature of me, but I think that's something in my personal Princess ideal that I'm holding onto. To me princesses are carefree, gentle, kindhearted, free-spirited; to grow into a Queen is to take on more weight, to wear a heavy crown, to carry a scepter and wear a heavy fur cape, instead of a maiden's dress and a daisy chain crown on your head. I like my fantasy world, and I know I'll have to leave it more often soon, so it's more and more precious now.

It would be nice to start over again
Before we were men
I'd give, I'd bend, let's play pretend

I wish it weren't playing pretend; I wish things weren't looked down on for being childish just because children do them; I wish I could wear a dress with a bow and knee-socks and mary janes, and not be accused of trying to reconnect with my childhood - I'm not reconnecting, I'm just not willing to take myself so seriously that I leave behind the special acceptance I had as a child. It isn't a childish trait, is it: acceptance? Freedom? I don't want to be seen as playing dress-ups, just because I appreciate an aesthetic people have left behind.

Remember the times we had soda for wine,
and we got by on gratitude
The worst they could do to you was check your attitude

Peer pressure. It's so restricting. You get an offer to go out for coffee or "a drink" and suggest something simpler, less harmful, like a milkshake or hot chocolate, and people roll their eyes or chuckle. It's expected that you take advantage of your age, act your age. I don't appreciate being expected to do something just because everyone else is doing it. Don't people tell you when you're little not to do what everyone else is doing; do what you think feels right? What happens to this idea when you grow up? You enter the workforce and it's entirely different, you're a shadow, you're not a person anymore, you're a slave to the importance of the dollar. I love smiling at people I don't know as I walk past them in the street, if they smile back I feel happy, and I hope they do too. I don't need to give them everything to make them happy, all I need to give this stranger is a simple smile. Why can't everything be that simple?

When fights were for fun, we had water in guns,
and a place we could call our own
How we lost hold of home, I guess I'll never know

The first line here, though I wasn't raised in a tough urban area, hits home. Even on the internet people fight. Fight, fight, fight. They fight because it's normal, we stand up for what we believe in the West. Freedom of speech is nice, but common sense isn't very common anymore. With more options for communication and more people without common sense, who hold grudges, who take things too far... It's a terrible big-bad-world to grow up into, and it's even reaching kids now. I loved that in my childhood, even though I was bullied, I could laugh, smile, forgive. Fights didn't have consequences. Kids have the upperhand because they're little and don't know better. Isn't ignorance simply bliss sometimes? I think so.

And when it's the end, our lives will make sense
We'll love, we'll bend, let's play pretend

This one is a bit of a shot in the dark, but it makes me think about the most important opinion I maintain on life, though it's probably childish. I want to enjoy my life. I want to be happy, I want to have fun. I don't understand why people endure hardships that they don't have to. I understand it more when it's a hiccup in a dream, but not when the lengthy path to the dream doesn't make you happy.

There's a lot I don't understand though, really. I'm not cut out for understanding things like that yet.


1 sweet words back to main
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xie xie!

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